It's like nothing else matters right now....

[Nick Chapman]

Re: It's like nothing else matters right now....

I really don't know what to say in these situations, but what I do know is I would be torn down to know my mom could pass away soon. I do not know if I could write about my feelings to a bunch of people I do not know, I envy you for being so strong right now.

I am not a strong person, especially when it comes to things like this. And you guys are not a bunch of strangers, I feel like I know some of you better than people that are here in my town.

[ClearlyCoated]

Re: It's like nothing else matters right now....

Nick - I'm sorry to hear of your situation. My father died 5 years ago from a rare aggressive strain of leukemia. We didn't know he had it until he was rushed to the hospital one evening with severe compression pain in his chest cavity. Two days later he was gone. In hindsight it was providential that he didn't have a protracted stay in the hospital which would have wiped out my parents' meager savings and left my mom without any resources. But it still hurt like heck to lose him so quickly and without having any preparation to say goodbye.

Upsell to your stepmom the importance of spending time together with you and your family, how she will be more comfortable with the support of loved ones, and how much it will help all of you to deal with her situation by having her there. Your stepmom sounds like a giving woman and she will likely want to help her loved ones deal with her illness rather than placing herself first. The specialists and treatment she will receive in Dallas can then just be an important secondary consideration.

[MrCLRider]

Re: It's like nothing else matters right now....

I really don't know what to say in these situations, but what I do know is I would be torn down to know my mom could pass away soon. I do not know if I could write about my feelings to a bunch of people I do not know, I envy you for being so strong right now.

[Nick Chapman]

Re: It's like nothing else matters right now....

It's a tough situation to be in and you have my sympathy.

If you can convince her to see a cancer specialist, it might just save her life. I know two people that were considered terminally ill with cancer and both recovered after being treated by people that were really familiar with what is needed and what can be done.
Certainly seeing a specialist doesn't guarantee anything, but it at least gives some opportunity for a course of treatment.

I'm surprised her personal physician didn't send her to a specialist.
The choice may have been hers.

Yes, her physician has directed her to see a specialist. But we're talking about a small college town(OSU). I think the regular population(without the college) is around 40k. And the average income is about $25k per year. This isn't exactly a high profile city. "I" think she really needs to get out of there, and get down here to see someone.

[CharlesW]

Re: It's like nothing else matters right now....

It's a tough situation to be in and you have my sympathy.

If you can convince her to see a cancer specialist, it might just save her life. I know two people that were considered terminally ill with cancer and both recovered after being treated by people that were really familiar with what is needed and what can be done.
Certainly seeing a specialist doesn't guarantee anything, but it at least gives some opportunity for a course of treatment.

I'm surprised her personal physician didn't send her to a specialist.
The choice may have been hers.

[Nick Chapman]

Re: It's like nothing else matters right now....

If I were you, I would try to spend as much time with her as possible. Get her to talk about her life. Consider recording her stories on video. It will mean alot to you and other family members in the future.

Man, that would be awesome! But I can't even get her in front of a camera, I couldn't imagine a video camera

[KNJ]

Re: It's like nothing else matters right now....

Nick,
I have been where you are, my mother was diagnosed with cancer, and given three months. It was completely out of the blue. The only advice I have is to spend time with her now. Leave nothing unsaid. My mother was at peace with God and her situation near the end. That was a comfort to me. My father had a stroke and just passed last July. Although it may not seem like it, being able to talk to your step mother is a blessing. We didn't have that with my father.
If you ever need to talk pm or email me for my numbers I would be glad to talk with you since I have been through a similar situation.
I will be thinking of you and your family.

[DogParkGuy]

Re: It's like nothing else matters right now....

If I were you, I would try to spend as much time with her as possible. Get her to talk about her life. Consider recording her stories on video. It will mean alot to you and other family members in the future.

[BlueZero]

Re: It's like nothing else matters right now....

Sorry to hear the news Nick! Sometimes it just feels better to talk (or type) about stuff like this.

I've lost so many friends and family through the years. All I can do is think back to all the good times we had and be happy for that.

Sorry man, I don't have any advise or any answers but know I (we) are here for you!

[Nick Chapman]

I'm 37 years old, and have been lucky enough not to experience death from any imediate family members. My grandmother died quite a few years ago, but I was young. I've been to 2 different funerals in my entire life, and neither was an emotional disaster for me.

My step mother, who is more like my real mother, basically raised me. She gave me a call yesterday and gave me some news that has left me in complete shock. Yesterday morning, at the Dr office, she was diagnosed with emphysema, lung cancer and Congestive heart failure all at the same time. The Dr didn't give her any other information as far as how advanced it is, or a time frame. But he did take her hand and start a prayer, which leaves me to believe that it doesn't look good.

At this point, I am in complete shock, and don't know how to handle this. Death is not something I am familiar with. One minute I just want to cry, then the next I just want to take control of the situation and pack her up out of that small town she lives in and move her down here to get the best care possible. Where she lives(Stillwater, OK), cancer care is not a high priority, and she would receive better care here in Dallas. Although, I know she wouldn't come. She would insist on staying in her small town, leaving her fate in physicians that are not specialized in this field.

Man, I just don't know what to do


BTW, this is not a prayer request thread. I think that is entirely overdone through many forums around the net. Guess I'm just more venting, and getting it off my chest. I really haven't spoken to anyone about this aside from my girlfriend. I just can't imagine my life without this woman being a part of it. I can't imagine not being able to pick up the phone and talk to her. She has always been there for me on everything, and always directed me in the right direction. Now I'm being faced with the reality that she will not be there in the future