It's like nothing else matters right now....

[Jokeman]

Re: It's like nothing else matters right now....

Nick, sorry to hear about this. I don't have much input as to what you can do since I have never been in your position. The best thing I can suggest is to spend time her with.

[akimel]

Re: It's like nothing else matters right now....

Cancer ... emphysema ... and congestive heart failure.

I have ministered to many dying persons and their families. The families always want their parents to survive, no matter what. I have seen chemotherapy embraced, with all of its terrible consequences, when there was little chance of improvement. It is awful.

These are such difficult decisions. My only counsel: respect the wishes of the dying person. Do not impose upon them your need for their survival.

Please keep us informed of her progress.

[Underdawg736]

Re: It's like nothing else matters right now....

Nick, We're all pulling for you and your step mom. Let her know that she is in the thoughts and prayers of a whole bunch of strangers, I'm sure she'll appreciate it.
These kind of situations are never easy no matter how many times someone will experience in their life time and everyone reacts to them differently.
About 10 years ago on Christmas Eve we got a call that my grandmother was sent into the hospital because she couldn't breathe. We later found out that she was diagnosed with emphysema and the physicians didn't think she would live for very much longer. Well she's still around and we keep in contact as much as possible.
I wasn't exposed to serious illnesses or death very much before my grandmother had fallen ill. Ever since getting into my career I've seen what the power of family support can do for a person who is very ill, and even in death unfortunately it will not be an easy trip weather it's sudden or you know it's comeing.
If you ever need someone to talk to, please feel free to PM me, I'm usually near a computer and I try to check MOL often since it's an awsome place with awsome folks.

Take it easy and best wishes for your step mom!

[Andy M.]

Re: It's like nothing else matters right now....

Hey Nick,

I know when I lost my Dad in '06 it was very difficult. I only talked to him once a week on Sunday, but man do I miss that phone call. He passed very unexpectedly. You will miss her but you will get through. With everything that I have gone through, which you know about, trust me when I say you will be OK. Never give up hope brother.

You got my number!

Andy

[3Fitty]

Re: It's like nothing else matters right now....

Anderson Cancer Center in Houston.

Best Cancer Hospital in America, followed by Sloan Kettering in NYC, Johns Hopkins (Baltimore) and the Mayo Clinic.

http://www.usnews.com/directories/hospitals/index_html/specialty+IHQCANC/

There is not a lot of variation in cancer treatment based on the stage. The top places only differ in their access to experimental drugs and practices. Generally most places typically follow established protocals.

Since you're in Dallas, take her to the Anderson Cancer Center in Houston (University of Texas M.D.). She'll get top care.

I used to have some pull with a few Cancer docs at Sloan Kettering but now that I've moved, I'm not much use. Sorry.

[Markus Kleis]

Re: It's like nothing else matters right now....

I'm sorry that you're in this situation Nick. I think the key thing to do is to keep a positive attitude and do your best to pass it on to your mom. Don't let her become mentally defeated.

Also, like others said, keep looking for solutions...other medical options.

Tell your mom how much you love her and what she means to you...give her a reason to want to fight.

I hope you get things figured out. As always, feel free to give me a ring if you want to chat or vent.

[ghaines]

Re: It's like nothing else matters right now....

Nick - Her CHF is treatable with a biventricular cardiac pacemaker or defibulator all depending upon how advanced her condition is. Regarding the emphysema/lung cancer... I don't know as much about this area. What I can tell you is that your focus should be on getting her convinced to fight and seek out world class care which you know you can get in Dallas. Attached is a link below on treatments for CHF that I found on the Mayo Clinic's website. I will be praying for you and your SM.

Biventricular Cardiac Pacemaker or Defibulator

Biventricular cardiac heart pacemakers send specifically timed electrical impulses to the heart's lower chambers to treat moderate to severe congestive heart failure. Approximately 30 percent to 50 percent of people with congestive heart failure have abnormalities in their heart's electrical system which cause their already weakened heart muscle to beat in an uncoordinated fashion. This inefficient muscle contraction wastes the heart's energy and may cause heart failure to worsen.

http://www.mayoclinic.org/congestive-heart-failure/

[Zuke]

Re: It's like nothing else matters right now....

I was in your shoes a few years ago, Im pretty young(23) and after graduating highschool i moved to Az on my own, up to that point i never had exp a death in the family, but after living in Az for a while my bestfriend and roommate passed away on duty as a police officer. When the news hit he was on life support i went into shock, i had never been close to someone have something like this happened. It was really hard for me to accept that my friend was gone, but i know now that NO ONE can ever take away any memories i have with him and i know i will see him again. Its still hard to think im never going to see him again, here, but i know that he would not ever want me to greive for him, i remember he made it clear before he signed up for the police academy that if he had a funeral, that no family or friends would wear black, he wanted us to wear something bright. It seems like the bests ones have to go first but i guess thats how it goes, just enjoy the time you have left and remember that you will have that for the rest of your life.

[J. A. Michaels]

Re: It's like nothing else matters right now....

Nick, I am so sorry to hear about your step mom.

I understand her reluctance to leave her home. But it is important to have her see a specialist.

On my side of the family I have lost all but a couple of my Aunts and Uncles. My parents passed away many, many years ago. There still is not a day that goes by that I do not think about them.


My families thought are with you.

[PaintPolisher]

Re: It's like nothing else matters right now....

Man, that would be awesome! But I can't even get her in front of a camera, I couldn't imagine a video camera

Nick I can tell your emotions are running wild.

Here is what I do with friends and family.
I send them the entire package of questions I would like to go over during our chat and they are free not to answer or skip any questions they wish.

This link contains everything for the Family Heritage video or write up.
The Process, Pre-Interview Questionaire

http://www.spurlock.tv/The_Process_files/Pre-Interview%20%20Questionaire.pdf

Do you think or could you talk her into say a Saturday or Sunday initial chat with a tape recorder going? Or you may have to write the answers down.

I hope this helps you, your family and your stepmom out in some small way.

al

[zeegs]

Re: It's like nothing else matters right now....

I sympathize with you, I'm on my way to Florida this weekend where my mom is getting worse by the day. It's terribly hard especially when they are so far away, it's shocking to see when you only get to visit a few times a year. My sisters and I have to deal from 1000 miles away. Speak to her a frequently as possible these memories will last you and yours a lifetime.

My thoughts are with you.

[john m.]

Re: It's like nothing else matters right now....

Nick, Im so sorry to hear this. I cant imagine how you feel! Hopefully it really isnt to bad, a little over a year ago my dad got prostate cancer and him being the only male on his side of the family to live past 50 I wasnt sure what was going to happen. He had already had some bad things happen before, but finally we found out that it was early enough to remove everything with one surgery. Im hoping that they will find that it is treatable and she will be okay.

I know you said this isnt a prayer thread and you are venting, but im putting good thoughts your way! I know I cant help but if there is some strange situation where I can let me know and I would be glad to.

[Nick Chapman]

Re: It's like nothing else matters right now....

What's really tough for me is that I talk to her every single day. Her and my father live about 5 hours away, but we stay in contact as much as possible. I talk to her a heck of a lot more than I do my own father. Her and I are on the phone every single day. When I get finished with a job and on my way home, my routine is to call her while I'm driving. Usually about nothing important, just chit chat. I just can't imagine not being able to make that call everyday

[yalerd]

Re: It's like nothing else matters right now....

I'm sorry to hear about this Nick.
Just try to be with her, even though she won't see a specialist, maybe fly her to Dallas so you guys could be together and spend some time. Make every second count buddy.

I've lost all my grandparents to cancer and I now I've made every second count with them

[Underdawg736]

Re: It's like nothing else matters right now....

Nick, I'm sorry to hear about the bad news.

Did they give her a time frame?
I deal with alot of ill people, I've lost count as to how many people I've came across that said the doctor gave me 3...6...9....12 months to live and years later they're still alive and kicking.
I'm sure Dallas has some top notch medical facilities as it's a top notch city!
When I was stationed in Ft Hood there was a HUGE hospital in Temple called Scott & White Memoral, I do believe it's one of the top hospitals in the country, you might want to check them if there's nothing in your neck of the woods.
The main thing is to start her treatment as soon as possible, lung cancer is really tough and has a nasty habit of spreading to other parts of the body.
Does she smoke? if so she needs to quit....it'll only make things worse and if they placed her on oxygen you'll definately don't want her smoking around pure o2 as it will cause a fire and do more harm.
Most improtantly is to have her as comfortable as possible. I know how the summers are down there and they do no good for people with emphysema (my grandmother has emphysema).

Also as alot of folks said already, family support is key to her comfort. It'll make her feel better and she'll (hopefully) fell like she is not on this road alone!!

I hope this info helps you out a bit and your family is in my thoughts.