Iowa Roll Call!!

[CumminsCrazed]

Re: Iowa Roll Call!!

and I-80

[CieraSL]

Re: Iowa Roll Call!!

YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE Iowan WHEN:

1. "Vacation" means going east or west on I-80 for the weekend... or going to Adventureland.
2. You measure distance in hours.
3. You know several people who have hit a deer - more than once.
4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day... and back again.
5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching.
6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings).
7. You see people wear bib overalls to funerals.
8. You carry jumper cables in your car... and your girlfriend knows how to use them.
9. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
11. You know all 5 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, road construction & DAMN HOT!
12. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.
13. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.
14. Down South to you means Missouri.
15. East to you means Illinois.
16. A brat is something you eat.
17. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole shed.
18. You go out to a tail gate party every Saturday.
19. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors because your fire works melted.
20. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
21. You find -20 degrees F "a little chilly."
22. You've never met any celebrities.
23. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
24. You've seen all the biggest bands... ten years after they were popular.
25. Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
26. Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
27. You've ridden the school bus for an hour each way.
28. You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better."
29. You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July.
30. Stores don't have bags; they have sacks.
31. You install security lights on your house and garage - and leave both unlocked.
32. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it no matter what time of the year.
33. You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: "Where's my coat at?"
34. All festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, or animal.
35. You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, Mt. Dew, and Jell-O with marshmallows.
36. You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" is.
37. You own only three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.
38. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
39. You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie.
40. The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires 6 pages for sports.
41. You think deer season is a national holiday.

(from http://www.iowalum.com/Vegas/IowaJokes.html)

[CieraSL]

Re: Iowa Roll Call!!

Iowa Tourism Council Bulletin: This list of rules will be handed to each person as they enter the state.

1. That slope-shouldered farm boy did more work before breakfast than you'll do all week at the gym. How'd you like to go home and tell your momma you got your butt kicked by a big guy in bib overalls?

2. It's called a 'gravel road.' No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your BMW. I have a four wheel drive because I need it. Drive it or get it out of the way.

3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were nine years old. Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it.

4. Any references to "corn fed" when talking about our women will get your butt kicked...by our women.

5. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to us if a flathead breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for those little 13 inch trout you fish for...bait.

6. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.

7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their final approach, we will shoot it. You might hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

8. That's right. Whiskey is only two bucks. We can buy a fifth for what you paid in the airport.

9. The Hawkeyes and the Cyclones are as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks...and a dang sight more fun to watch.

10. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey. Yeah, we have sweet tea. It comes in a glass with two packets of sugar and a long spoon.

11. You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice.

12. So you have a sixty thousand dollar car. We're real impressed. We have quarter of a million dollar combines that we use two weeks a year.

13. Let's get this straight. We have one stoplight in town. We stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.

14. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks-because they want to. So, you're a feminist. Isn't that cute.

15. Yeah, we eat catfish, carp, and turtle too. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the bait shop.

16. They are pigs. That's what they smell like. Get over it. Don't like it?
Interstate 80 goes two ways - 35 goes the other two. Pick one.

17. The "Opener" refers to the first day of pheasant season. It's a
religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November. You can get breakfast at the church.

18. So every person in every pick-up waves. It's called being friendly.
Understand the concept?

19. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the water hazards. It spooks the fish.

20. No, we can't shoot the doves. They're song birds. Okay, even we feel a little stupid about that one.

Now, enjoy your visit and then go home.
_______________________________________________________________________________________

A kindergarten teacher explains to her class that she is an Iowa State Cyclone. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Cyclones too.
No one really knows what a Cyclone is, but wanting to be like their teacher their hands explode into the air like fleshy fireworks. There is, however, one exception. A girl named Kristen has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.

"Because I'm not a Cyclone."

"Then," asks the teacher, "what are you?"

"Why, I'm a proud Iowa Hawkeye," boasts the little girl.

The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Kristen why she is a Hawkeye.

"Well, my mom and dad are Hawkeyes, so I'm a Hawkeye too."

The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?"

"Then," says Kristen, "I'd be a Cyclone."

(from http://www.iowalum.com/Vegas/IowaJokes.html)

[sleepy]

Re: Iowa Roll Call!!

To those who are from Iowa and Minnesota, Why do the University of Iowa and University of Minnesota every year have a football game, fight, over a bronzed pig named Floyd?

[CumminsCrazed]

Re: Iowa Roll Call!!

idk??