Alrighty. I got this car certified pre-owned. It had plenty of the DISOs installed for free. My goal was to get them out. I can't afford (or care to learn how to use) the PC, nor do I have any sort of rotary device available to me.
My plan was to wash the vehicle using Gold Class Car Wash Shampoo/Conditioner, then go over it with clay and Quik Detailer, proceed to ScratchX, polish it with M#80, then apply two coats of NXT Generation Tech Wax (liquid).
Here's my cleaning agents, the usual suspects.

From left to right is
foam applicators
terrycloth covered foam applicators
random WalMart wool wash mit
random Target tire brush
Stoner Invisible Glass
piece of clay
M#80
ScratchX
Quik Detailer
Hot Rims Wheel Cleaner
NXT Generation Tech Wax liquid
random Target microfiber towels
random Target terrycloth towels.
What I don't have pictured is the Gold Class Car Wash and the Hot Shine Tire Spray.
Let's start off with the wheels and tires. They started off looking like:

And ended up like:

Next we'll go to the rest of it. I washed the car, and it looked like this.

And the swirly shot:

After washing came the clay. That looked exactly the same. There were hardly any surface contaminants.
Next came the Scratch X. Afterwards, it looked like this

I know it looks worse, but there was actually vast improvement.
And a full body shot:

Now the M#80 Speed Glaze. This was sheerly amazing. Look at the reflection on this hood!


And after that came the NXT Tech Wax. Amazing results here. I didn't take another hood shot as I thought the M#80 was good enough.
The lighting changed by this time, so the flash really altered how it looked in the second pic here.


And check out these reflections!

Thanks for everyone's help and suggestions!
EDIT: Kudos to anyone who guesses how I named my car the "Heart of Gold."
My plan was to wash the vehicle using Gold Class Car Wash Shampoo/Conditioner, then go over it with clay and Quik Detailer, proceed to ScratchX, polish it with M#80, then apply two coats of NXT Generation Tech Wax (liquid).
Here's my cleaning agents, the usual suspects.
From left to right is
foam applicators
terrycloth covered foam applicators
random WalMart wool wash mit
random Target tire brush
Stoner Invisible Glass
piece of clay
M#80
ScratchX
Quik Detailer
Hot Rims Wheel Cleaner
NXT Generation Tech Wax liquid
random Target microfiber towels
random Target terrycloth towels.
What I don't have pictured is the Gold Class Car Wash and the Hot Shine Tire Spray.
Let's start off with the wheels and tires. They started off looking like:
And ended up like:
Next we'll go to the rest of it. I washed the car, and it looked like this.
And the swirly shot:
After washing came the clay. That looked exactly the same. There were hardly any surface contaminants.
Next came the Scratch X. Afterwards, it looked like this
I know it looks worse, but there was actually vast improvement.
And a full body shot:
Now the M#80 Speed Glaze. This was sheerly amazing. Look at the reflection on this hood!
And after that came the NXT Tech Wax. Amazing results here. I didn't take another hood shot as I thought the M#80 was good enough.

And check out these reflections!
Thanks for everyone's help and suggestions!
EDIT: Kudos to anyone who guesses how I named my car the "Heart of Gold."
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