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But you know what? I ain't keeping this treasure all to myself anymore. No, my good mate, I'm going to share it with my best friend. Yeah, that's right, I'm going to be the bloody Santa Claus of **** to my best mate.
You see, me and my mate have been mates since we were kids. We've been through thick and thin together. And despite being a drunk *******, I'm quite the loyal friend. So when he told me he's going through a rough patch in his relationship, I knew I had to do something to cheer him up.
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